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Thesis 36: A Turning (or, What the Darkness Taught Me)

This post is part of a series of meditations on each of Luther's "95 Theses." You can view all posts in the series here.

36. Any truly repentant Christian has a right to full remission of penalty and guilt, even without indulgence letters.

Around 3 a.m. on May 20th of this year, I reached the deepest point of loneliness and fear I had ever reached.

My wife, Ashley, was finally asleep and trying to heal. My son, Anson, was only about four hours old, and had just been put in what I can only describe as a life support machine/beast the size of a tiny car in order to be transported to St. Louis Children's Hospital.

I was utterly alone. The yellowy texture of the dark parking lot outside Ashley's hospital window was somehow darker and more intimidating than pitch. Yes, I'd reached out to friends and family on the phone, but I didn't know what to ask for. I was tired and petrified. Would my son die? Would Ashley be ok soon?

And so, I prayed into the void. And I…

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