Charlie Sheen Got That Symbolic Ish

At around minute 6 of this neo-conservative, conspiracy theory rant-fest, Charlie Sheen bares what is perhaps the most revealing personal insight into his highly public breakdown.

Sheen is discussing with his blustery, overweight radio friend how they were watching Apocalypse Now in Mr. Sheen's house in his personal theater. At a climactic moment of dialogue between the main protagonist (played by Martin Sheen (we shall return to this crucial bit of information in a moment)) and Marlon Brando's iconic Colonel Kurtz, Kurtz utters the lines, "You can kill me, but you can't judge me."

All tabloidizing aside, Charlie Sheen is slowly dying in front of the television cameras. And we all--including myself--have found it a bit too funny. Joke bets are being made among my friends as to how many more months he will live. It ain't funny. What an interesting empathetic move he makes towards Col. Kurtz, and NOT the Capt. Benjamin Willard.

First, let's look at Kurtz. In the Joseph Conrad novella upon which the book is based, Kurtz is the epitome, the perfect symbol, of the depravity of man. A man--so the analysis goes--who's traveled deep into the Congo, and instead of "converting" the natives with the civilization he carries within his white bones, he is pulled to the muddy ground of "barbarism" and, therefore, utterly inhuman behavior. There are other, incredibly latent, racist overtones interlaced with the culture from which Conrad was writing, but those are irrelevant to this discussion...though certainly should NEVER be minimized. It is fascinating to the nth degree that Charlie Sheen identifies with the essence of animal behavior. Obviously, he is making a point here, whether consciously or not, that he has arrived at a level of behavior absent of logic, and that he is more than ok with that.

Second, let's look at Martin Sheen. It could not possibly be more weird and ironic that Charlie would get uber-fucked up and watch his old man's movies and postulate about their symbolism while identifying with the villain who was locked in conflict with the character played by his FATHER! Is Charlie attempting to create a public brouhaha by doing ridiculously doped-up interviews knowingly, all in an attempt to finally draw lots of press to himself. Let's face it, Major League and Two and a Half Men don't exactly stand up in comparison to Apocalypse Now and The West Wing. Father-son rivalry played out on the daily tabloids? Scrumptious, Americans! Eat it up! Now!

In closing, at around 10:30, Charlie compares himself to the famous choppers on the beach scene dropping napalm (also with Robert Duvall's famous line, "I love the smell of napalm in the morning."). Ride of the Valkyries will never be the same, but I digress. Let's analyze: Charlie Sheen, in order to find a metaphor for how awesome his energy is when it's unleashed upon the world, uses one of the most infamous images of apathetic wartime genocide ever filmed. Huh.

I think this blog just jumped the shark.


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